Pregnancy woes...

So yeah had an ultrasound on Monday... Oh for those who don't yet know, I am pregnant yet again. O.o >.< ^.^ This baby is due in August... Laurana will be 16 months old then... 2 months older than Emmalyne was when we had Laurana so we got them farther apart this time, but still a little closer than my ideal of 18 months to 2 years... But well the Lord has his own timing now doesn't he? So anyway we seem to have another modest baby on our hands... To my frustration yet again... Had its legs crossed (as you can see in the picture) and the tech also decided that it was "too soon to really tell" because the baby measured closer to 17 weeks than 18 weeks... Even though I have been told that now they can tell as early as 16 weeks. This place they send me to for ultrasounds sux... 

But of course right now I am not thinking too highly of my midwife either... When I first went to see her she told me that things had changed and that for delivery I would have to go to a hospital in Phoenix instead of the hospital right next door to her office. At the time I didn't think to ask why. On my next visit I asked her why I had to go so far to deliver, and she commenced to inform me that she no longer delivers and that the hospital I was being sent to to deliver was where her associate doctors deliver. So what she was telling me was that I was going to have a perfect stranger and a doctor deliver my baby. I don't know about anyone else but I choose to go to a midwife for the delivery not for the prenatal visits. Prenatal visits for a doctor versus a midwife are not really different at least not for a C.N.M. If I had wanted a doctor to deliver me I would have chosen a doctor, then I would know the person or if there were several in the office I would be likely to meet all of them throughout the pregnancy at some point. It's one thing to have the one who was supposed to deliver you be out of town or not be able to make it for some reason or other and then have another doctor that you don't know deliver but a whole other story to have that as the only option for the whole pregnancy. And the worst part is I don't believe she was going to tell me on her own... The only reason she told me that she no longer delivers is because I asked her a related question. So yeah I guess you could say I am feeling betrayed... that is probably the best way to explain that... I don't like the uncertainty of it... I have heard of too many experiences where the doctor has disregarded the fact that the woman in labor knows her own body a heck of a lot better than they do and they disregard her wishes. I refuse to have that happen to me. If I am going to have to have a doctor because there isn't a midwife close enough that will deliver me I WILL CHOOSE my doctor getting a good referral from a friend I trust and speaks highly of hers. I will not be put into a situation that is that far out of my control. I refuse to be disregarded for something this important.

Ok well I think I will stop venting and next time talk of brighter and happier things, like my little girls. Thanks for listening... or in this case reading...